Often people feel as though they are in competition with their dog. For example, the human must always win a game of tug of war, or if a dog wants to go in a certain direction on the walk, the human must go another way to make sure the dog doesn't feel like it is in charge. It seems as though in many people's minds, allowing a dog to make its own decisions one day, will surely lead to world domination the next. But if we take a look at the dynamic between most dogs and their owners, we start to see a pattern emerging.
When it comes to food (the most valuable resource for most dogs), it is in fact the owner who decides when, where, what and how much the dog will eat.
In most cases, unless the dog lives outside all the time, the owner decides when and where the dog is allowed to go to the toilet.
Again, in most cases, the owner decides where the dog will sleep. In most cases, the owner decides where the dog walks, what the dog is allowed to do and not allowed to do, when the dog has to go outside, when it is allowed inside, when the dog has to go into its crate, when it is allowed out! If you are a breeder, who decides when, where and with whom the dog will mate with? In most cases the owner decides when the dog will get attention and when they won't, when they are allowed to go the park and when they are not.
The list goes on but in summary, every single resource that matters to your dog is controlled by you - the owner. Could you imagine living in a world where you had very little free choice? A world in which all of your basic needs being met, was completely dependent on someone else? A world in which any requests made by you to have your needs fulfilled were either ignored or denied?
How often have you heard your dog scratching at the back door to go to the toilet, but because you were busy, you ignored them, knowing they could hold it for ten minutes.
How often have you been on a walk and your dog was insisting on smelling a particular bush, but because you were in a rush, or even just because you were impatient, you hurried on past?
Could you imagine if you were really hungry, and your partner told you, you weren't allowed to eat anything because your allotted meal time was still 2 hours away. Or if you were walking down the street and you passed a store that you really wanted to pop into, just to look around, and your friend grabbed your hand and dragged you in the opposite direction and made you go into a different store instead. Or maybe you're watching a movie on t.v. with your partner, and you suddenly need the bathroom, but when you get up to go, your partner forces you to wait until the end of the movie.
So maybe if these scenarios occurred in jest, they might be acceptable, but not if they occurred on a regular basis. If you had to deal with this on a daily basis, imagine how downtrodden, how oppressed you would start to feel. Relationships are about balance, and this is no different when it comes to the relationship between you and your dog. I'm not saying we should allow our dogs to make all of the decisions, because we would probably end up with a dog that behaved inappropriately. However, allowing our dogs to make their own decisions, and respecting and allowing for their choices when it is safe and appropriate to do so, will dramatically improve your dog's confidence, make for a happier, more stimulated dog, and strengthen your relationship with your dog.
So next time Fido wants to stop and sniff the bushes for ten minutes, for goodness sake just let him!
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